The Downside of Heaven
by drecklyn
Summary: Her relationship with Lux was like another battle. Straining, and at times full of mindless passion, yet one of them would always retaliate while the other pushed, and their emotional war would rage on. But once she stopped resisting it was something greater than the two of them, greater than the universe, even greater than the force. Once they tasted it they could never go back.
1. Chapter 1

an: Hey everyone! Long time no see (if you're someone who's read my work before) if not, welcome to my first attempt at something very different than along the lines of what I usually write! This fic is in response to blaterboy67's recent "Show Your Fandom" Challenge. Basically I have to write a fic in a fandom I secretly love but am a bit embarrassed to let anyone know. My fandom of choice? Star Wars of course! And more specifically the character of Ahsoka Tano. I have to admit I was not too impressed with her to begin with but after the second season of the clone wars series she really began to grow on me and soon became one of my favorite characters. Therefore this story will consist of not only the traditional love story, but a coming of age as well as plenty of action and adventure.

Updates will be consistent, Tuesdays most likely being my day of choice, however there may be many occasions where I choose to upload more frequently.

Though I am a fan and have done my research, not everything will be completely up to scratch so please bare with me. Feel free to leave comments explaining anything I've gotten wrong (which I hope will be scarce!) Reviews are greatly appreciated! Your advice is valued as always!

Without further ado, I give you my first Star Wars fic.

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Disclaimer: The Star Wars Universe, excluding OC's, belongs to Lucas Films. No profit was made in the making of this story.

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Chapter one

"Make sure everything is secured in the back Snips," Anakin Skywalker called towards his padawan distractedly, as he fiddled with flashing buttons and levers, preparing his small ship for landing in Onderon.

"Already did Skyguy," Ahsoka said in retaliation, inwardly cringing at the use of her dreaded nickname. The voyage had been long and she was already cranky enough, let alone to be taunted with the name bestowed upon her when she was fourteen. Ignoring the open smirk on her master's face, Ahsoka distracted herself by admiring the beauty of the planet displayed before her as the duo entered the atmosphere, taking note of the multicolors, assuming the terrain to be flamboyant. "Where exactly are we landing master?"

Anakin's boyish smirk immediately faltered at her question, instead twisting into something of great determination. "Anywhere that looks safe,"

Ahsoka wasn't sure if he was being serious or sarcastic. The word "safe" was not usually found in Anakin Skywalker's vocabulary, especially when it came to dealing with seperatists. The pair had been sent to Onderon to help prevent the separatist occupation currently trying to take over the capital, Iziz. After securing a safe landing zone a distance away from the city walls, the 501st would be called in, in order to determine a plan of action.

"Uh oh," Anakin's gruff voice alerted Ahsoka back to reality as she looked to her master for the source of his distress. "We're coming in too hot,"

Glancing out the window, Anakin's assessment was clearly right as their ship sped over the Onderon horizon, much to fast to make a decent landing.

"Crash landing it is," Ahsoka muttered, gathering her composure as she prepared herself for the impact, the faint ringing of Anakin's voice in the back of her head as he directed directions to Artoo.

"Impact in 5…4…3…2…1!" With a strong lurch, the ship was thrust into the earth, sending its passengers lunging forward, having gone completely airborne if not for their seatbelts. The ship jerked heavily as it bounced twice, continuing to barrel across the Onderon landscape before slowing and coming to a complete halt amongst a bushel of large leafy trees.

Smoke arose from the engine and Ahsoka waved it away briskly, coughing as she rose to her feet.

"Bones all intact?" Anakin said, disoriented as he too stood up.

Checking herself for any scrapes or bruises, Ahsoka gave her master a quick nod. "Everything seems to be in tip top shape. Can't say the same for the ship though," She cast a weary look towards the hull before turning towards R2-D2. "What about you Artoo?"

The astro droid let out a bubbly beep, signaling to Ahsoka that he was more than fine. Following her master out of the ship, Ahsoka stepped in a jungle-like landscape, littered with trees and shrubbery of all sorts. Harmonic sounds of birds littered the skies and she had to admit, it was quite tranquil. They had landed (or crashed more explicitly) in a small clearing, leaving a large trail of overturned dirt in their wake.

Ahsoka watched on timidly as Anakin surveyed the ship, biting her lip with every frustrated sigh he omitted.

"Well the ship's totaled," He finally spoke, leaning up against a tree and crossing his arms.

"What do we do now?"

Anakin scanned his surroundings before pointing in the opposite direction of the crash. "My senses say this way towards the city. We're far from it now and we'll need to be closer in order for our men to breach the north wall,"

Ahsoka nodded and hoisted her small supply pack over her shoulder, following her master into the dark depths of the Onderon jungle**.**

* * *

"Shh…I sense something," Anakin's fluid motion beckoning her to cease all movement made Ahsoka stop in her tracks. She had learned over her years of being his apprentice that his ability to feel things around him was never one to be questioned, and never to be taken into doubt.

They had been traveling for hours now it seemed, with no sign of movement despite a small jungle rabbit or snake, nothing out of the ordinary. Until now at least.

She sensed it as well, something large and headed their way. And then without warning, the ground shook, causing Ahsoka to stumble and lean towards a tree.

"Master?" She questioned Anakin, an unfamiliar look of fear in her eyes as Artoo gave a low beep.

Anakin immediately held up a hand as he strained his ears and quieted his emotions, sensing for what exactly was in their midst, however without warning the ground gave one more tremendous shake as trees barreled over and an enormous and mighty beast broke through the line of shrubbery.

It was unlike anything she had ever seen before. Tall yet barreling, the monster had tough leathery skin and resembled a Rancor, yet it was hunched over with a larger jaw and enormous horns jutting from its head which appeared to have some sort of fleshy sensors on the end that dragged behind it on the ground. It's eyes were stark white and gleaming, with no pupils in sight.

She remained frozen with fear, eyes wide and glancing desperately towards her master, waiting for orders. For once in her life, Ahsoka wanted to flee.

Anakin seemed just as paralyzed, rather intentionally or physically she could not tell.

"Make no sudden movement," He mumbled out of the corner of his mouth. "It's blind, but it can feel tremors in the ground,"

Not thinking once of questioning her master, Ahsoka closed her eyes and eased her body as the monster drew closer to them, it's larger feelers sweeping the ground as it sniffed the air. She could feel it close to her, hot breath tickling her face as it tried to decipher what she was. Her heart seemed to stop as it froze, it's feelers beginning to grasp her legs before letting out a swift growl.

"Run!" Her master's voice called from several feet away from. She needn't be told twice. Snapping open her eyes, Ahsoka had barely a second to catch the foul stench and twisted face of the creature before taking off towards the opposite direction, the crashing vibrations behind her signaling the beast was not far behind.

Anakin was shouting something to her but she couldn't decipher it over the howling wind in her ears and the sharp roars of the monster pursuing her. She did not question herself why she was running, even though she was well armed with plenty of training to fight a beast. She only knew that she had to, and even the screams of her legs in protest did not cease her retreat.

So occupied in her escape, she nearly stumbled over a sharp drop as she came to an uneasy stop in front of the top of a water fall, water rushing past her as fast as her heart. She didn't stop to think, to catch her breath, to even glance behind her at the giant beast about to spring. Closing her eyes, she did nothing but the force beckoned her to do; with a great leap forward, she hurtled towards the water below.

The fall was forgettable, so fast that she could barely remember dropping at all. It was the impact of the water, the pressure on her chest, and the inability to control her movements that truly haunted her thoughts. She tried desperately to swim towards the light of air above her, yet every time she drew near the surface a sharp current would drag her away, leaving her fingers to desperately cling at the water around her.

It was when her breath was suffocating, her eyes dampened, and her body finally going limp and moving along with the current did she finally get rushed to the top, flung from the water like a lose spring. Coughing and heaving, she flailed her arms around her, trying to remain above water, treading as the current swept her closer and closer to land. Soon she found her feet touching cold rock and she dragged herself from the surface, spewing from exhaustion as she collapsed to the shore, glancing up towards the distance in time to catch the creature let out a deafening roar, before giving up and slowly stomping away.

She hoped her master was clear out of its path by now.

And without notice or any precautions, Ahsoka's consciousness was lost.

* * *

Voices. It was the first thing that greeted her arousal as her senses began to rise from dormant, leaving a groggy feeling to cloud her brain. She couldn't open her eyes yet, but she could decipher distinct voices going on around her with familiar accents, ones that were almost quite soothing. She sensed tension and anxiety in the room, and the first thought that entered her mind was where in the universe was she?

"Oh he's not going to be pleased about this I can tell you that. What do you make of her eh'? Sneakin' around our camp she is!" One voice was gruff and ruthful as it bounced off the walls of whatever enclosure she was in.

"Calm down," The other whispered, clearly a female. "We don't know she's a spy. You're jumping to conclusions,"

"To hell I am!" The man sounded outraged. "The Separatists think it's funny to send a spy do they? I say we kill her right here and right now!"

Before the man could take things any further however, a third voice entered the room, this one so familiar and so comforting that it nearly sent chills down her spine.

"What's going on in here?" The third voice demanded.

The other two seemed to immediately become formal in the presence of the new arrival.

"Sorry sir," Said the gruffer man, the shuffling of footsteps becoming prominent on the floor. "It's just I found this spy down by the river, passed out it seems. Me and Ruska here were just deciding what to do with her…"

His voice seemed to trail off and Ahsoka dared take a peek as she opened her eyes, nearly gasping at the sight she saw before her. She seemed to be in some sort of tent made of leather, lit by a small fire that cast shadows on the walls in the dark of night. Three pairs of eyes were upon her, the one to the left, a slender woman with a sharply cut ginger bob and bright concerned looking eyes, the one to the right a stout unshaven man who was sporting a blaster rifle tucked carefully under his arm.

And then her eyes fell upon the middle figure and his name formed upon her lips, like something sweet and forbidden, remembrance of a strong friendship and dire gratitude passing through her body.

She could barely form his name on her lips for being so utterly surprised.

"Lux,"


	2. Chapter 2

**an: Thanks all for your reviews, they were greatly appreciated. This next chapter is a little early, but upon the advice of Jedipadawan123, I've decided to update twice a week. Like before, all advice and reviews are welcome. I'm a bit concerned at the characterization, especially when it comes to Lux. I hope I've done him justice however, and you enjoy this chapter! Next update should be up by Tuesday. Thanks for reading! **

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Chapter Two

It took Ahsoka Tano a full two minutes to decipher who exactly was standing in front of her, thousands of thoughts rushing through her head as the two stared at the other completely aghast. Why was he here? Why had the man called him "sir"? What was he doing with a weapon on his back?

He appeared to have aged a great deal since their last meeting which had been a little over nine months ago, however managed to look exactly the same, the only major differences being the length of his hair and his stature, which appeared a good few inches taller. Yet there was something so completely lethal looking about him. Maybe it was the armor he was sporting, or perhaps the scar on his left cheekbone. Whatever it was, it looked completely foreign on Lux.

He was the one to make the first move however, and with a cheeky grin he embraced her in a one armed hug, the other clutching a blaster rifle tightly under his elbow.

"What are you doing here Ahsoka?" He asked, pulling apart and fully examining her at arm's length. "What happened to you?"

Unaware of his concern, she glanced down at herself and noticed multiple scrapes and bruises, which she had so far been completely oblivious to.

"Probably the fall," She said tiredly, still visibly shaken from all she had endured earlier.

"Fall?" His face immediately took a brisk turn into anger, turning to the stouter man and pointing an accusatory finger. "Did you do this to her?"

Before Lux could jump to his conclusion however, Ahsoka placed a steady arm on his shoulder for reassurance. "It wasn't him. I jumped off a waterfall," It astonished her how completely casual she sounded.

Lux looked affronted before turning to the two soldiers. "Leave us," He commanded in an authoritive voice, to which Ahsoka looked curiously at him. Never before had she seen him so…direct Of course he had taken a firmer disposition when he had decided to group up with the Mandalorian Terrorist group, Death Watch, however he had never truly been a fighter, and it troubled Ahsoka to see him so tense.

The female soldier left without another word, however the male seemed taken aback, and cast a weary look over his shoulder before retreating the tent.

Lux waited a few brief seconds before turning to Ahsoka once again.

"Why are you here?" The question almost sounded desperate, and Ahsoka sensed that something greater was troubling her friend.

"I was about to ask you the same thing," She threw back, not quite used to this robust side of Lux.

Hesitating, Lux walked past her, taking a seat on one of the leather cloths littering the ground. After mimicking him, Ahsoka drew forward, lips parted and eager to hear his story.

"After I left you on the escape pod, I took shelter on my home world of Onderon. I used to live here when I was a kid, and have some relatives who were happy to take me in. Of course rekindling a relationship with family wasn't my true motive, and I soon left after hearing word of a group of neutralists searching for soldiers to aid their cause, that being to aid and protect Onderon in anyway" He paused, searching her expression before continuing.

"After being drafted, they sent me to some sort of base they had in a small enclosure off the west wall of Iziz. They sent me for training and I was in the field for six months, until the Separatists came with their droid armies and decided to invade the very place I sought to escape from them. I immediately volunteered to fight against them, this being the very thing I had been training for. They made me a Captain, and assigned me to a small group of soldiers which I was to camp with off the northern part of the plains, bordering the jungle. These men were far more inexperienced than I had anticipated and it took a great deal of effort each day just to keep them alive. Of course I wasn't always successful…"

He trailed off, gazing into the fire before clearing his throat.

"And not all of them were eager to take orders from a seventeen year old. A few days ago, a droid squadron raided our camp and we lost a good deal of our men, leaving only ten under my command. According to one of my scouts, the droids have also set up a barrier along the south of the plains, cutting off any hope for retreat towards our base. So we're stuck here basically, until rescue or death,"

Mouth slightly agape, Ahsoka leaned back and tried to comprehend.

"But Lux…you're not a fighter!" It was the first thing that popped into her head, and she had to put it out there no matter how awkwardly inappropriate it seemed.

"Well the war has changed me, as much as anyone else," He said defensively.

Ahsoka glanced at the ground, embarrassed for the first time in front of Lux Bonteri. She felt foolish for thinking he would be the same boy she met on Ruxus. Of course he wasn't completely untouchable by the fingers of battle, however she had hoped he would stay the same innocent being she knew him as. She was clearly proven wrong.

"So you're no longer a Separatist?" She questioned.

"I'm not part of the Republic either. I just want this war to end,"

"So you're neutral?"

He glanced up at her, an amused look on his face. "Basically,"

Nodding her head, she watched as he once again studied her.

"Your turn," He supplied.

"For what?" The drop had left her disoriented and she wasn't quite awake enough for conversation.

"To tell me what exactly you're doing here?" His tone had gone from friendly to almost worried.

After filling him in on everything that had happened, the purpose for her mission and the cause of her injuries, she watched as Lux succumbed to silence.

"So the Jedi have finally come to help have they?" His tone wasn't unfriendly, merely stating the facts.

"We only want to help in whatever needs to be done. It's what the order is here for," She said defensively.

"I understand." He said, and she truly believed him. It was one thing she treasured about Lux, his genuine ability to speak his mind.

"And I want to help you Lux," She added, taking his hand reassuringly. "If your men lack experience, we'll give them experience. We can train them in order to make it out of this battle alive, together. As I recall a certain someone said we make a pretty good team,"

He gave her a half smile before countering her offer. "Won't you need to get back to your master?"

Hesitating, Ahsoka backed up her answer even though it somehow felt wrong doing so. "He can survive a few days without me," Truth be told she truly was needed to aid the mission of breaching the capitol, however at that moment, being with Lux, she felt no reason to leave his side, not while he seemed so helpless. "And besides, there's no way I could make it past all those droids. Did your scout give an estimate on how many there were?"

"A little over two hundred," He said, sounding almost defeated.

"Don't worry Lux, we haven't lost this battle. Not yet,"

* * *

"Faster men! I want to see sweat so thick that it looks like a coat!" Lux's voice rang clearly among the small battalion of men jogging in a straight line, some rolling their eyes at his order, and Ahsoka had to do all she could to prevent herself from laughing.

It had not however gone unnoticed by Lux and he strode towards her with a small smile. "What? Too harsh?"

"No you're doing fine," She reassured him. "I like your metaphors,"

Lux glanced over his shoulder at the huddle of men who glared at him from a distance. "Well they apparently don't,"

"Give them time. They'll see who's the boss when it comes to fighting the tinnies,"

After continuous planning, Ahsoka and Lux had been sending the troops on small training courses each day, trying to be discreet as possible in order to avoid attracting droids and the occasional beast. Today they had set up in a small clearing amongst the trees, and large logs littered the forest ground in which the soldiers had to dodge or leap over. According to Lux, his men's aim was superb, it was their lack of agility that gave them trouble on the battlefield.

The soldiers however had been less than pleased with Ahsoka's presence, looking down at her age and Jedi status, many believing her to be just another luster of war.

Lux and Ahsoka sat in silence as they observed the troops jogging the course, every so often calling orders to aid in form or speed.

It wasn't until she felt a small ripple of disturbance in the air did she finally say something.

"Something's not right," She said unexpectedly, rising to her feet and scanning the horizon on the Plaines before them.

"Do you sense something?" Lux was to his feet too, blaster already raised and ready as he looked towards Ahsoka for guidance.

Closing her eyes, Ahsoka rid herself of all emotions as she waited for something within her, something to tell her that not all was well. Yet it did not come in the heavenly force as she expected it to.

It came in the form of a bullet, whizzing past her ear as it struck head on one of the soldiers behind her.

And all hell broke loose.


	3. Chapter 3

**an: Thanks for all of your continuous support! Look forward to some major action in this chapter, as well as Luxsoka bonding time! Yay!**

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Chapter Three

Without breathing or even a thought of what she was doing, Ahsoka sprung into action, both lightsabers flourished as she let the force flow through her, bringing her to life as she focused in on a small battalion of droids, storming across the plains towards their small clearing at the base of the jungle.

Charging forward, she leapt into the air, coming down before a majority of the droids as she swung her lightsabers in front of her, face darkened and eyes burning as she seized up the enemy. Several of them raised blasters towards her, yet some stood dazed, unsure of what to do with a Jedi in their midst.

"Attack the Jedi!" A mechanical voice sounded from the back of the troops. Ahsoka wasted no hesitation, slashing her lightsabers wildly as she blocked the blaster shots, every so often slashing a droid that got too close. She could sense Lux behind her, along with his men who had hastily collected their weapons before launching into battle.

Wiping out the first row of troops, Ahsoka advanced, the neutralist soldiers in her wake. The separatists had only sent a small amount of troops to invade the camp, and Ahsoka smirked as she cut through a battle unit. Clearly, they weren't anticipating a Jedi to foil their attack. Yet her smile soon vanished as blue eyes caught sight of something looming in the horizon, something she was quite sure to make this fight a little more interesting. Lux voiced her observation before she could make a move however.

"AAT! Dead ahead!"

"I've got it! Keep your men stationary and fend off the battalion!" Ahsoka called over her shoulder, ignoring Lux's sounds of protest as she charged forward across the Plaines, the tall yellow grass tickling her legs as she squinted her eyes at the sun. Deflecting blasters as she ran, Ahsoka leapt into the air, carefully positioning her land onto the helm of the AAT.

Landing with a thud, she delicately engulfed a circle into the top of the capsule, avoiding the tanks wayward attempts to throw her off. Completing her task, she fell through the top, landing in the navigation helm, and with a quick slash, the droid operator fell to the ground in scraps.

Without hesitating, Ahsoka took settled herself into the driver's chair, steering the tank in the direction of the ongoing skirmish. Once she approached blasting distance, she squinted her eyes, searching for an easy target yet far away enough from Lux and his troops to leave them unscathed. Sealing in on a group of droidekas, she fired in their direction, leaving only a smoking pile of metal.

Before she could fire another round however, a message began to flash on the dashboard "OVERHEATING" and with a sharp gasp, Ahsoka leapt from the AAT, seconds before it exploded into a ball of fire and smoke.

Clearly she had done more damage to the tank than she thought. Ahsoka rolled to her feet, glancing up just in time to see the remainder of droids become victims of Lux's blaster.

Silence elapsed over the Plaines as the soldiers glanced from one another, clearly surprised and shocked to see all they had accomplished, chunks of scrap and metal lay blistering in the hot Onderon sun. Lux cast a wry smile towards Ahsoka before turning to his troops.

"And that is why we sweat soldiers," Pride looming all over his face.

* * *

The fire crackled before Ahsoka as one of the soldiers added a log to the pit, smoke looming before her and concealing the faces of the surrounding troops, briefly though, for nothing could hide the rash look of glory that each man and woman wore that night.

They had taken no precautions whatsoever (the enemy already knew where they were), and they let the flames run ravage into the sky, singing loudly songs of war as their voices echoed around the sight of their former battlefield. One of the men had shot and killed a wild boar that evening, and it lay roasted over the pit, the first decent meal these troops had had in ages.

What really pleased Ahsoka however was not the fact they had destroyed a squadron of droids that morning, not the fact that she had food in her belly, and was finally going to sleep peacefully that night. It was the mere fact that the soldiers were finally giving Lux his well earned respect, and were treating him like one of their own rather than an outcast.

He sat before her, a cheerful grin on his face like she'd never seen on him before, laughing and singing along with his men around him. His army.

She had never felt more pleased.

It was only after the festivities had worn off late into the night, and comprehension dawned on each soldiers face that the real war for Onderon was just beginning, did they begin to fully think straight and contract a plan.

"If they know where our camp is, shouldn't we move?" A bespectacled soldier called Welks questioned Lux.

"Tomorrow, though I doubt it will make much of a difference. They already know the general area we're in," Lux observed, glancing at Ahsoka for affirmation, looking pleased when she gave him a quick nod.

"Finally getting' some action eh'? Bout' time," Booth, the gruff man she had first come to contact with when she arrived, hooted happily, causing many of his fellow soldiers to nod and whoop in agreement.

"You've fought long and hard today. I'd say you deserve some rest," Ahsoka said, concealing a yawn with her hand.

Lux shot her a smile. "I think we all do,"

* * *

Ahsoka rose before the sun that morning, a savage dream lingering in her mind though she couldn't quite remember the contents of the nightmare. She was however aware of the fact she was drenched in sweat, her blankets strewn around her like a strait jacket.

Rising to her feet, she shook her head, clearing it of all worry and transgression as she exited the tent, eyes falling upon a darkened camp, embers still burning in the pit from the previous night. Judging by the fact it was as black as night, she figured it was well before morning, however something provoked her not to go back to sleep, and she felt wide awake as she surveyed the camp. Her eyes came to rest on a figure, hunched over on the outside of a tent, back to her as he carelessly tossed rocks into the fire pit.

"Couldn't sleep?" She announced her presence to Lux, smiling as he jumped before turning towards her.

"You startled me," He moved to the left, making room for Ahsoka to sit beside him. "Too much going on in my head I suppose," He admitted, picking up another pebble and tossing it into the fire. "I sent Welks and Ruska out ages ago on their nightly watch. They haven't returned," He stared blankly towards the direction of the jungle, a somber look on his face which didn't go unnoticed by Ahsoka.

"They know what they're doing Lux. You've taught them well,"

He turned towards her, an unfamiliar look on his face. "Have I? Sometimes I wonder if all of this fighting is just a waste of time. What are we achieving from it, even from victory? More scrap metal?"

Ahsoka bit her tongue, surprised by Lux's lack of enthusiasm, a factor she had always admired in him.

"It's hope Lux. Every time you fight and win a battle with those men you're giving them hope that they can stand up against the separatists, fight for what's right. You used to believe in the same thing, when you sought to avenge your mother's death,"

They elapsed into a silence, not an awkward one but a serene moment, as though they both finally understood each other for the first real time.

"Ahsoka, I'm sorry," His apology caught her off guard, and she looked towards him with a curious expression on her face.

"For what?"

"For leaving you on Carlac. I hope you realize it was for the best,"

For the first time during their conversation, Ahsoka realized how startlingly close he was, so close that she could count every eyelash that clung to his sea green eyes, study the lethal looking scar on his cheekbone, look closely upon his hair to find that with length, it gained a slight wave. She felt flushed and dizzy, overwhelmed by their closeness yet at the same time delighting in it.

Before she could respond however, a rustling in the trees caused them both to jerk towards the direction of the jungle, rising to their feet and studying the horizon. Before they could draw their weapons however, Ruska broke from the line of shrubbery, panting and clutching at her side, broken blaster limply strewn across her arm.

She seemed to be trying to form words however nothing came out but disembodied moans before falling to the ground, looking like a puppet with cut strings.

Lux charged towards her, Ahsoka following close behind as the two approached the crumbled solider. Lux knelt next to her, taking her arm and measuring for a pulse.

"She's still alive," He announced to Ahsoka, before lowering his voice as he addressed the fallen trooper. "Ruska, can you hear me?"

Brown eyes soon came into focus as Ruska stirred, staring up at Lux, her breathing coming in rasps.

"Captain...gartik…Welks…dead," She gasped out, seemingly trying to clutch at her throat, where a large red gash stood prominent.

"The gartik? I thought he was up north, in a different territory," He looked towards Ahsoka in distress, having revealed earlier the name of her assailing beast. It was Booth however who answered him, a small amount of troops had gathered around them unknowingly.

"The clankers must've drove 'em down with those damn AAT's," He said with a small trace of fear in his voice.

"I don't understand. If the beast was driven down here, that must mean the droids are advancing west. But there's nothing out there but jungles and a few mountains. No men are stationed there," Lux rose from Ruska's side as two troops arrived and carried her to the camp.

"Something must be sending them out there," Ahsoka observed, glancing to the west as if the answer would be revealed to her.

To her surprise however, it was. In the form of five LAT's.

* * *

**an: 501****st**** to the rescue! Hope this chapter has satisfied your battle craving, as well as a brief scene of chemistry between Lux and Ahsoka. Keep a look out for chapter four, coming to computers everywhere on Friday where the story progresses to a different planet, tension is raised, and a romance pursues! I'm going to start working on a response to all of your reviews so hold on tight. As always, reviews are greatly appreciated.**


	4. Chapter 4

**an: Apologies for the lack of chapter on Friday! I've been so utterly busy with RL this weekend that I completely neglected my fanfiction family! Hope this extra long chapter can make up for it. Thanks for all of your amazing support! It truly means a lot to me! Prepare yourself for some major Luxsoka in this chapter. Pretty much every scene revolves around them (which I personally see as a good thing!) **

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Chapter Four

The heavily armed and rustic looking gunships landed twenty feet in front of the camp, the large propellers concealed on the bottom of the ships sending wheat to sprawl backwards, as though someone had taken a giant foot and stomped on it.

Ahsoka broke from her small crowd of troops, recognizing immediately the battalion coat of arms on each of the gunships. The 501st was here to take her home. Breathing a sigh of relief, she strode towards them, eager for news on the wagering battle.

Her master was the first to reach her, relief etched across his face, eyes scanning over her to check for any injuries.

"Ahsoka! I sensed you were alright!" He acted like he was going to hug her, yet thought better of it, changing his fluid hand motion to a quick pat on the shoulder. "I thought I'd lost you to that beast,"

"I'm fine master," Ahsoka assured him. "I met up with Lux Bonteri. He's leading a small resistance here in the Plaines. We've been trapped for days due to a separatist blockade." She gestured behind her to where Lux stood looming in the background, seemingly unsure about whether to approach them or lag behind.

Anakin exchanged looks with Rex who stood by, observing as his soldiers confronted the resistance. "So we've heard," His tone was skeptical and did not go unnoticed by Ahsoka.

"What do you mean?"

"We came into contact with the leader of the Onderon Resistance. Apparently all hope is lost for the capitol. It's being secured as a Separatist base as we speak. Our new priority is to rescue all survivors and transport them to Coruscant where we'll decide our next plan of action." Anakin said reluctantly, as though the thought of abandoning a mission was painful.

"We can't leave yet Master! What about all the citizens trapped in the city! The war's just starting!" She protested desperately, glancing towards Rex and then at Lux, hoping for an ally in her argument.

When no one stepped up to the plate however, Anakin sighed. "I completely agree with you Snips, however it's your job to escort Lux and his troops back to the Jedi temple. They'll be safe there,"

"What about you?" She asked suspiciously.

"I'm staying here with the 501st. We'll be rescuing as many survivors as we can," He looked to Rex whom he knew to be able to defuse Ahsoka in tense situations.

"Believe me little'un, we'll not get much action here," Rex assured her. "It's your duty to these troops to help them make a better life elsewhere, just until we get this planet back,"

Seeing no point in arguing, Ahsoka nodded, still unsure, turning to Lux who had been timidly listening in.

"You're taking us to the Republic," There was no objection in his voice, not even a trace of reluctance or query.

She nodded, studying his face for any sign of displeasure. "I know you don't exactly see eye to eye, but the Republic can take care of you," She supplied reassuringly to which Lux gave her a half hearted smile.

"I suppose they can't all be as bad as you,"

* * *

Ahsoka sat in silence among the troops in the transport ship on the way to Coruscant, body tense as she tried to sense their emotions. They couldn't possibly be satisfied with retreat, let alone to the Republic Capitol of the galaxy. Every so often she would catch one glancing her way, whether with a familiar sneer or a look of approval, yet once eye contact was met, they would look away, face and emotions completely unreadable.

Lux sat across from her, eyes glassy and emotionless as he tried to look at anything but her, the scar on his face looking even more eerily prominent in the florescent lighting that lit the ship. She cleared her throat, trying to catch his attention. Glancing up, he shifted closer to her, an enquiring look on his face.

"Have you given any thought to the Republic yet?" She knew it was abrupt to be asking so soon, after everything he had been through, everything he had endured, yet she wanted to say something to him, to acknowledge the fact that she still cared for him.

"I think you know my answer to that Ahsoka," He said lowly, running a hand through his chin length hair before letting out a sigh. "I just can't. I wish I could, wish I was wired differently or something, but there's something preventing me," He descended into a deep thought, giving time for Ahsoka to grasp his response, studying him closely.

She had never seen him so tense, so shaken up that he almost looked completely broken. It was almost as though the emotional tidal wave of the past several years had eased up on him, drowning him in everything he had thus far avoided. It was so emotionally tolling to watch him fall apart that she nearly broke to pieces herself. Yet she gathered her composure, placing a comforting hand on his leg with a reassuring smile. She had to be strong, for him at least.

"Don't worry about it now. We'll figure something out when we get to Coruscant," She supplied, biting her tongue as she turned away from his distraught composure.

"Thank you Ahsoka. For everything," He placed a hand on her shoulder, the only true smile he had worn all week plastered on his face.

Something seemed to swell within her, engulf her body as it flooded her head. It wasn't pride; she had experienced her fair share of pride in her lifetime. It was something better, something so dizzyingly decadent that she found herself closing her eyes in pleasure at the pure sensation, yet it vanished as quickly it had come, leaving Ahsoka only to writhe in the agony of its absence.

It was something so purely enjoyable yet at the same time completely distant. Whatever it was, she knew it had to be completely forbidden for no sensation so selfishly pleasant could possibly be good.

* * *

Upon their arrival, they were greeted by a large array of Jedi and Senators, some passing condescending looks at Lux and his renegade troops, others looking sympathetic. Obi-Wan was the first to approach her, a look of relief on his face as he raised the hood on his cloak, rain starting to fall on the landing docks.

"You've done well Ahsoka. The council needs to hear a report however, and to discuss their housing of these troops," He trailed off, looking over to where Lux stood with his men, examining the crowd with a cautious look in his eyes. "Is that the late Senator Bonteri's son?"

Ahsoka absentmindedly nodded her head, more concerned with the council than the shock of everyone's expectations for a senator's son. "Lead the way Master Kenobi," She pushed, glancing behind her once again at Lux, giving him a reassuring smile before following the Jedi Master.

* * *

"I understand that Senator Bonteri is the leader of this small resistance?" Master Window's deep and calm voice flooded the council room as Ahsoka sensed multiple pairs of eyes upon her, shifting uncomfortably at their gaze.

"Yes, he is Master, though he means the Republic no harm. He simply wanted to defend his homeland," She said condescendingly, troubled by the fact of prejudice against her friend.

"And home there is, no more," Yoda frowned, a look of concern in his large eyes. "Here the resistance, will stay until secured, Onderon is," The Jedi all seemed to unanimously agree, each giving Ahsoka a gratifying nod as she bowed before them.

"Thank you Masters. I'll escort them to the northern barracks right away," Feeling strangely at peace, much as she always did after a thorough discussion in the presence of the council, Ahsoka made her exit, startled to find Lux leaning against a wall right outside the door.

"A Jedi told me to wait here," He explained, holding his hands out in a surrendering position.

She beamed at him. "Turns out you can rendezvous here after all," He smiled at her as a ravage of thunder shook the building. His expression soon turned to one of worry.

"Are all storms this bad?" He questioned, seeming to cringe as lightning illuminated the hall.

"Haven't you ever been in a storm before?"

He shook his, looking somewhat embarrassed as he distractedly proceeded down the hall, motioning for Ahsoka to accompany him.

"We never got them on Raxus. I'm sure we did on Onderon but I was too young to remember," She noticed a slight tension in his voice and she didn't need the force for her to detect he was clearly shaken.

"Why don't I take you to your quarters? They're just down the hall," She offered a distraction, pleased when he nodded and seemed to ease off the topic, soon becoming occupied by the architect around him, gazing in awe amongst the temple walls.

"So you've been here since you were a baby?" He questioned, stopping to study a bust of a distant deceased Jedi.

"Since I was three. Master Plo Koon found me on Shili and brought me here to be trained," She called back, stopping for him to catch up.

"What about your family?" He sounded confused, as though he couldn't fathom the idea of being separated at such a young age.

Something about the question took a great deal of damage on Ahsoka, whether it was the heart broken way it was spoken or the mere fact she had never been asked, or told for that matter. What did happen to her family?

"I don't know," Was her only reply, walking ahead as she turned down a large corridor, Lux wandering aimlessly behind her.

He seemed to get the hint however, and dropped all queries as they approached an array of heavy steel doors, each inscribed with the letter A and then a number.

"You and your troops will be staying in the A barracks. This is yours," She gestured to a door to her left, opening it with a shove, allowing Lux entry. It was a small room, barely the size of the tents Lux had been sleeping in for the past few months, yet much more endearing. A bed jutted out of the wall, held in place with large metal bars. A round chair was pushed to the side and out of the way, accompanied by a small end table accommodating a glowing light source and a strange yellow plant. A large window was placed straight ahead from the door, blinds barely open as the storm raged outside its window pane. A white tiled bathroom sat to the right of the door, its luminescent light flooding into the tiny entry.

"Home sweet home," She chimed, walking into the room and gesturing to a small closet. "You'll have everything you'll need in here, clothes, bathroom essentials, a communicator. All the basics. Breakfast is at seven thirty sharp, be there and I'll brief you on everything you'll need to know. If you need me, I'll be in room B-7, just down the hall," Lux nodded, glancing out the window as Ahsoka readied her leave.

She was halfway to the door when suddenly a large blast of thunder shook the temple, sending Lux quivering towards her, grabbing her by the arm, eyes wide and startled as he looked to her, a look of pleading and longing littering his face.

"Ahsoka," His voice was just above a whisper, panic ridden and torn. "Please don't go,"

She hesitated slightly, knowing it was against the rules for a Padawan to be out of their quarters so late. Yet she took one look at Lux, disparity ridden all through his body and she knew she couldn't leave her friend here alone. Without speaking, she nodded, reassuringly patting his shoulder as she took a seat on his chair, crossing her legs and taking on a softer tone.

"Why don't you take a shower? You look as though you could use one?" She suggested.

He nodded, looking like a frail child as he went to the closet, retrieving a set of new clothes before disappearing into the bathroom, shutting the door, the sound of the shower soon following.

Ahsoka absentmindedly watched the rain, pulling distractedly on her lekku as the sound of Lux's shower flooded the background. Soon it was replaced by the sound of the bathroom door opening, Lux stammering out in a fresh array of sleep clothes as he cautiously made towards her.

"You don't have to stay for me Ahsoka, I'm sure you're tired," He tried to take on the aggressive tone he had asserted in Onderon, yet it was lost when he jumped as a flash of lightning illuminated the room.

She shook her head, rising from the chair. "I'm staying Lux, whether you like it or not,"

He sighed before catching her eye. "Thank you," He then proceeded to walk to the chair, "You can sleep on the bed. I'll take the chair,"

"No way Lux. You've been sleeping on raw hard ground for the past three months now. What you deserve now is a well nights rest," She pushed, reaching the chair before him and spreading her legs out so there was no room. He glared at her before admitting defeat, knowing better than to argue with her as he collapsed on the bed.

Silence graced the room for several minutes, the steady sound of breathing the only whisper to elapse before snores soon filled the room, Lux giving into sleep faster than Ahsoka could settle in her chair. She watched him for several minutes, at peace with the sound expression on his face before she was soon overcome by the same feeling she had experienced on the ship, the same giddy feeling that seemed to swell the longer she stared at him. She tried to convince herself it was nothing, tried to say she was simply exhausted from the journey, yet deep down she knew it wasn't the case and soon gave into the sensation, sighing as it overwhelmed her soul once more.

And she soon fell into the realm of sleep, his name on her lips being her last thought of the night.

* * *

**AN: I think we can all guess that pleasant little sensation Ahsoka's experiencing, something that's so completely foreign to her yet an average feeling in everyday life for us! Reviews as usual, are always appreciated! Love hearing your insight! Thanks for reading!**


	5. Chapter 5

**An: Applause to all you amazing readers! You truly are the best support on this site! A little heads up, I'll be going back to college in about a week so updates may just have to be limited down to once a week, so this is probably one of the last Friday updates though every Tuesday will consist of one. Sorry for any inconvenience this may cause, though I'm sure many of you are in the same boat as me and understand! And now onto chapter five! This one's a biggy, so if you were ever going to skip a chapter, now is not the time. Enjoy!**

* * *

Chapter Five

Ahsoka soon became accustomed to having Lux follow her around the temple like a shadow, though she didn't mind in the least. With the lack of Anakin or any of her clone brothers she soon found that she was subject to boredom easily, and Lux provided the constant companionship she often craved. Her daily schedule when not on a mission usually consisted of breakfast, morning meditation, a quick lesson in battle tactics from an unoccupied master, lunch, varied tasks to do around the temple depending on what was vacant, dinner, studies in the Jedi archives, evening meditation and bed, all of which Lux was content to simply watch her perform each task, much to the surprise of Ahsoka.

He never pressed for time, never thought the task at hand was tedious, never even grew tired of looking at her. He merely sat at the sidelines, every so often displaying his input of the moment to which either she or another Jedi would acknowledge. For someone so opposed to the Republic, he was certainly eager to pose questions concerning them, asking for their take on democracy or civil rights, questioning different Jedi or battle techniques to which would be calmly answered before he nodded his head and resumed his comfortable silence. She had never noticed how studious and thoughtful he was, but the trait was soon added to whatever else she admired in Lux.

* * *

A week and a half after Ahsoka's return to Coruscant, she sat with Lux in the archives, a blue screen displayed in front of her as she lazily researched the history of The Hundred Year Darkness, eyelids growing heavier with each word despite her interest in the subject. Lux sat across from her, a dusty book on his lap as he tentavily seemed to soak in each word. It had taken a lot of pull from the council to get him in here, considering that the library was restricted only for Jedi, however much to the relief of Ahsoka, Master Plo Koon had vouched for the pair and Lux was granted entry, as long as he didn't touch a thing but the old withered books in the corner, not pertaining to any classified information concerning the Jedi, however this factor was soon diminished when Lux piped up with one of his hourly questions.

"What are the Jedi trials?"

Ahsoka glanced up at him, lips parted as she realized he had somehow found out about an ancient ritual that was sacred to the Jedi, not at all for the mind of a non-force user, let alone a former separatist.

"Where did you read that?" She questioned, trying to keep her voice from becoming accusatory.

He held up the eroding book, eyebrows knotted as he studied her intensity.

"The keepers must have forgotten to eradicate that," She muttered more to herself than him, yet it did not go unnoticed by Lux.

"What are they?"

She sighed, unnecessarily looking him over as if to assess his loyalties. Of course she trusted him, he was one of her dearest friends and would never betray Jedi secrets concerning her. She nodded her head, absentmindedly rising to her feet and pulling him away from the table, leading him behind an archive shelf where they sat on the floor, legs crossed in privacy.

"They're a series of tasks a Padawan, like me, have to complete in order to become a Knight," She explained, nervously fingering her Padawan braid as though for emphasis.

"What sort of tasks?" He questioned.

She shrugged, leaning her head from behind the shelf, checking for any nearby occupants before returning to Lux. "I'm not sure, it's all pretty secret. I just know they have something to do with skill, courage, flesh, spirit, and insight,"

"Sounds complicated," He observed, leaning back on his arms as he watched her with an amused smile, the tone of his voice changing to something different, something unbeknownst to her. She had never seen such a look in his eyes, almost yearning with a small hint of sadness. Whatever it was, she brushed it aside, breathing heavily as he drew closer.

"Well it has to be. Being a knight isn't really a casual thing. It takes discipline and perseverance and…" She trailed off, swallowing before catching her breath. He was extremely close now, she could feel his warm breath tickling her neck. "What is it?" For some odd reason she found her voice becoming extremely high, shivering as once again, the intoxicating feeling that had become so apart of her the last few weeks soon elapsed over her in a trance.

"Perseverance and what?" His voice was just above a whisper, so soft that Ahsoka felt Goosebumps begin on the back of her neck.

"P-perseverance and," She stammered, taking a deep breath as his face became nearly a centimeter away before finishing her sentence, "And the ability to control yourself," She said boldly, moving away from him, the sting of regret and denial being the first thing to grip her.

But then a wave of hope rushed over her, urging her back to him, something she knew would always be her long life regret, and without hesitating, without a tinge of betrayal towards the Order, towards her Master, towards the Force itself, she leaned forward taking his head in her hands before clashing her lips to his.

Her first assessment was that it was one billion times better than the counterfeit kiss they had shared in front of Death Watch. With both their eyes closed, her hands on his neck while his cupped her face, they could truly enjoy the pure pleasure of indulging in each other, soon exploring the other's mouths with an eagerness they hadn't displayed before. They broke away only to gasp for short breathes of air before returning their lips to their rightful place, tongues dancing, hearts racing, and the small sounds of delight from one another.

It seemed to drift on forever, both paying no attention to their current surroundings, to the fact that Ahsoka was a Jedi and Lux an ex-Separatist. All that simply existed in their tiny world of ecstasy was each other, and they were perfectly content with that soul thought.

Yet the cold hard clash of reality wasn't far behind, and Ahsoka's eyes soon flew open in shock, hesitantly pulling away from Lux, catching her breath as guilt overwhelmed her completely, soon gasping from not just lust but a vast amount of shame, hanging her head and persisting to look at anything but Lux, for she knew if she did, all hope would be lost.

He reached towards her, the same amount of fear in his voice as he spoke, "Ahsoka, I'm so sorry," But she jerked away, scooting back until she was back to back with the bookshelf.

"It's not your fault," She was still breathing heavily, a raw numbness consuming her as she finally glanced up at Lux, lips red from their contact with her, clearly flushed, yet he held a mournful look in his eyes, knowing the very thing he had just done could cost Ahsoka so much more than emotional trouble.

They walked back to their quarters in silence, their only exchange being the brief goodnights they shared, both departing in separate directions.

Upon arriving at her room, Ahsoka collapsed onto her bed, willing herself not to dissolve completely as she tried to sort through her thoughts, tried to do anything but dissolve into tears. It had been her first kiss, and she had to admit, a very pleasant one at that. Though she had no experience whatsoever, something had guided her, not the force but an emotion, deep within her. She certainly needed no training when it came to raw passion.

Climbing off the bed, Ahsoka eased herself onto the floor, eyes closed and legs crossed as she exhaled every bad emotion, every shaky thought until she was left with nothing but tranquility. Descending into calm, she focused, focused on anything but him. But Lux soon flooded her head, invaded her mind until she was left with nothing but the look of his face, the scent of him, the feel of his lips.

Her eyes flew open, breath increasing as she looked wildly around her, as though coming out of some sort of coma.

This was going to be a long night.

* * *

**An: I realize it's a bit on the shorter side, but the next one's going to be extremely long so I didn't want to overwhelm you. As always, advice, comments, anything you have to say, is very appreciated. Love you guys, thanks for reading. **


	6. Chapter 6

**An: Can I start off this note by expressing just how truly amazing you guys are? Your reviews to the last chapter left me with a huge grin on my face and filled me with the motivation to keep writing. Thank you so much for your continuous support, especially for those of you who review every single chapter! Your dedication is extremely appreciated and I look forward every week to each of your responses. I truly feel honored to write for a group as amazingly awesome as you guys. **

**Enough of my rambling though, and on to chapter six!**

* * *

Chapter Six

Lux was absent the next day, and after somewhat interrogating one of his troops Ahsoka discovered that he was seemingly ill, and confined to bed rest for twenty-four hours. Not initially believing it of course, she made an appearance at his room only to be answered by a medical droid who quickly shooed her away with the words, "Master Lux is too weak to see anyone right now,"

Not knowing whether to protest or retreat, she stalked away, a tinge of guilt burrowing its way in her stomach. She had to have driven him away, whether from shame or angriness she couldn't be sure. The whole irony of the situation hit her like a ton of bricks, seemingly crawling back to him only to find he wanted nothing to do with her. It's why he was hiding right? To avoid her? At that point she wasn't quite sure of anything let alone Lux's motives for a day long hibernation.

She wasn't even sure of her emotions towards the kiss, whether she was currently regretting it or craving more? Whether she wanted to tell him off or embrace him herself? She had after all been the one to make the first move, despite his small advance on her.

During the day she had frankly become quite paranoid, worried that she would be found out, put to death for her crimes or even worse, expulsion from the order. She jumped at every tiny sound and her eyes darted around as though trying to sense any detection of a suspicious onlooker.

This of course did not go unnoticed by Barriss, her fellow Padawan in training, and she was soon confronted about it over dinner.

"Ahsoka what in the galaxy's the matter?" She questioned pointedly, leaning forward and eyeing her with a curious look. Usually so put together, Ahsoka imagined she looked quite a sight being so jittery.

"It's nothing. Missing my master, that's all," She excused herself, providing a decent explanation which she was sure would go unnoticed by her friend. There was no doubt of a small sister-brother attachment between her and Anakin, and it often went noticed by many of the masters at the temple, Barriss' master Luminara Undulli being one of the first.

Barriss merely nodded, glancing at Ahsoka with a small amount of advice, "We mustn't let attachments control our emotions. It doesn't make for very good tranquility in the soul and mind,"

Ahsoka smirked to herself at Barriss' ignorance to the relevance of her answer. "You have no idea," Was all she could say before filling her mouth with a pile of food to avoid any other inquiries. Barriss gave her a suspicious look before brushing it off with a hesitant sigh, returning to her meal.

Their peaceful eating was interrupted however by a brief tap on Ahsoka's shoulder, and upon turning around she found the occupant to be none other than Lux Bonteri, looking rather pale and weak, as though he had been deprived from the sun for several days.

"Ahsoka may I speak with you," His voice was the same however, yet it wavered when he caught Barriss looking over curiously. "Alone," He added politely, seemingly wavering under Ahsoka's stare.

"Of course," She answered in a formal voice, and though her insides were screaming for her to stay, she followed him diligently and in utter silence through the halls of the temple, up a large amount of stairs and finally to some sort of platform on the roof, completely deserted except for the potted shrubbery lining the railing.

Leaning against the rail, she watched as he turned his back on her, looking out towards the darkened city, his hands tucked sharply into his pockets. And then he spoke, his voice quiet yet completely audible.

"I've been doing a lot of thinking," He explained, this justyfing for his absence during the day. "I've tried to tell myself it's not logical, tried to think it's impossible, but I can't Ahsoka." He paused, taking a breath. "I love you," His confession was shaky, yet there was no denying the passion in his tone. He paused, as though waiting for her to either agree or deny him before continuing on edge. "You know that don't you?" His back was still towards her, and Ahsoka was glad he couldn't see the utter shock upon her face.

Those three words. They had never been spoken to her in her life, perhaps by her parents though not remembering didn't really count did it? No, these were the first conscious confessions of emotion that had ever graced her ears and she shivered, whether from the thought or from the chill she couldn't tell. Perhaps from both.

He turned to her then, an expression on his face like one she had never seen, raw yet full of confession and relief, as though he had the words bottled up inside him all this time, and letting them explode from his lips was like a sweet release.

Her answer however was probably not the one he had initially anticipated.

"You're impossible," She whispered. "It's impossible. I'm a Jedi Lux! It's against the code, and even though I love you it could never work!" She froze suddenly, catching the grin on his face as she realized what she had just confessed, the words she had just told him. She hadn't even been sure of her feelings towards him until she spoke them aloud.

Before she could take back what she said however, Lux bent down and embraced her, his lips returning to hers as they seemingly picked up where they had left off, somewhat flailing in their raw passion. At first she hesitated, her mind going a mile a minute before completely giving in, placing her hands on his chest with a content sigh into his mouth.

Once again, her emotions betrayed her brain as she mindlessly indulged in the very thing she had been trying to avoid – attachment. At last, they both reluctantly broke the kiss, Lux resting his forehead upon hers as they both basked in the aftermath of their shared passion.

"We can do it," He whispered, eyes closed though a smile was on his face. "No one has to know," He kissed her on the forehead between sentences, and Ahsoka felt her knees grow weak with every impending second, realizing for the first time how head over heels she was for him. Her emotions were making a complete and utter fool of herself, and she was enjoying every minute of it.

Her throat was dry, and she could do nothing but gaze up at him with pure and utter trust. Yet soon her brain outweighed her heart and her blissful ignorance was wearily waved goodbye.

"How? You'll be going back to Onderon soon, once it's secured, and I'll be staying here!" She protested, yet ceased her worries as he placed a single finger on her mouth.

"I can stay here, buy an apartment close by. It's not as though I'm tied down to Onderon," He seemed slightly exasperated, as though in a last ditch effort.

She shook her head, she too becoming desperate. "You don't have to do that for me Lux! Throw away your life just to be with me!"

"Ahsoka, I threw away my life the day I decided to hunt down Dooku. If anything, falling in love with you has done nothing but saved it!" He argued, though a trace of a smile was still lingering on his face.

A long silence elapsed between the two, only broken by the sounds of rushing ships zooming past them on the busy Coruscant streets.

"I want you," He pleaded, his eyes looking desperate.

She wanted to tell him she needed him just as bad, if not more, yet when she tried to speak no words came out, only a dry sob as she crumbled to the ground, dissolving into despair as she had never done before. She was completely broken, torn between her duty to the order and her undying love towards Lux. Torn between the ever reliable force and an emotion she experienced whenever she was with him that was so much greater.

Lux was soon next to her, comforting her with an embrace yet her body was so numb that she could barely feel his presence. She glanced up at him, reaching out and caressing his face before nodding, not able to form any words. He however seemed to have understood and leaned forward with such eagerness he appeared like a young child on Christmas day, just before their mouths could meet however, a beep in Ahsoka's pocket soon broke their display of affection.

Both leaping to their feet, Ahsoka cleaning her face of tears, she pulled out her communicator, clicking the button as a small holographic image of Master Windu appeared in front of her.

Bowing shakily, Ahsoka greeted the Jedi. "Master,"

"Padawan Tano," He acknowledged, "You're presence is required at the council immediately. Bring Senator Bonteri as well, he'll need to hear this," A shot of fear elapsed through Ahsoka, yet she tried to conceal it in the presence of Windu.

"Right away Master," Was all she could muster, and with a quick bow, their transmition was over.

Ahsoka and Lux both shot somber looks at each other before silently departing the roof, heavy regretful feet soon taking them to the council's meeting room.

So they had been found out. It certainly hadn't taken the Jedi long enough to discover them. Had they been watched the entire time? She felt herself blush from embarrassment, realizing the things she had said, the things she had done, all under the skeptical eye of the council. What would become of her? Surely expulsion from the order would be first and foremost. Exile next? What about Lux, would they let him go free, or put him in jail? Would she ever see him again after this day?

They were so utterly foolish, and Ahsoka sensed great fear in Lux as they approached the door to the council room, neither wanting to voice what they had come to conclude.

Entering through the door, Ahsoka tried her best to appear dignified as she bowed to the group of masters, despite the slight shake of her knees. She cringed as they used her Padawan title to address her, knowing it would soon be stripped along with her dignity.

"In health, we find you I hope," Yoda mused, looking over the pair. Both nodded with a brief, "Yes master,"

Mace however was the first to address them with their official reason of being there. "As you both are aware, Master Skywalker is stationed in Onderon along with the 501st helping to secure the planet. His mission has proved successful and has driven most of the separatist fleet towards the walled Capital. We require both of your presence on the planet to help him breach the city,"

Easing a sigh of relief, Ahsoka gratefully accepted the mission. They weren't found out. At least not yet.

"We require Senator Bonteri's presence for his knowledge of the city as well as his troops and military training," Windu added, a disapproving tone in his voice as though a battle was no place for a Senator. "If this mission succeeds, Onderon will be returned back to its people,"

Ahsoka could sense Lux's joy with such a notion, and smiled to herself as he enthusiastically accepted the mission.

"Prepare yourselves you must. Early morning, is your departure," The duo was soon bowed away, and they departed the room feeling quite pleased with themselves.

"I told you it could work," Lux teased her as they strode down the hall.

"Now now Mr. Bonteri. Let's not let your head get too big. We still have my Master ahead of us and let's just say he's very perceptive," Ahsoka was still overjoyed from the aftermath of being proven wrong about the discovery of their relationship.

"Try to keep yourself under control then," He smiled, pulling her into an empty doorframe away from the hall and giving her a slight kiss.

"I don't think I'm the one who needs control," She grinned, returning the kiss with full force. She was perfectly content. At least for now.

* * *

**An: Thanks for reading! I realize the last few chapters haven't been very action packed for those adventure cravers out there, but battles are coming, as well as more romance so be on the lookout for chapter seven! As always, reviews are greatly appreciated!**


	7. Chapter 7

**An: Apologies for the lateness of this chapter. I've had no internet for a week and I'm just starting to get back into the swing of college life, though I still have time for fanfiction! Expect updates to be once a week for now, just until I get comfortable with all the work I have to do. Unfortunately, school comes first (however much I want to put Star Wars in front of it!) Also, as nerdy as it sounds, I've found a theme song for this fic. The song is Letters From the Sky by Civil Twilight and it always just gets me in the mood for this story. **

**I realize this chapter is on the shorter side and I apologize. Hope it's completely satisfying though!**

**Thanks for your continuous support!**

* * *

Chapter Seven

"The separatists have set up a perimeter on the north side of the city, where the entrance is. They expect us to breech it, so of course we're going to give them a battle they'll never forget," Anakin's lips twitched slightly as he briefed his men as well as Lux's on the situation in Iziz. Refraining himself from smirking as he glanced at Lux with a small frown, he faced away from him as though he couldn't stand to look at the former Separatist senator. Ahsoka who stood stationery next to Lux, as though some sort of fierce protector, whether from the battle droids or her master, whichever struck first, exchanged a brief glance with him before listening closely to her master's briefing.

She knew Anakin held a grudge against the Separatists, of course who wouldn't after seeing what monstrous beasts their leaders were, and he hadn't exactly been thrilled upon seeing the bond between Lux and Ahsoka. Force knew what he would do if he found out about the two of them. Yet surprisingly, Anakin had been treating Ahsoka with a cautionary grip, almost like he was too nervous or frightened to approach her. She couldn't remember the last time he called her Snips and it was almost like a harsh slap in the face.

She had been separated from her master for far longer periods than a few weeks, surely there was no need for "warming up to each other". Yet something seemed to be pulling on his mind whenever he approached her, assuming an authoritive and mature tone, making her feel like just another soldier in his presence, which she technically was, she just hated feeling like one.

Whatever is was, her burden became immediately lifted upon hearing her role in the attack.

"I'm hoping this battle at the north will cause enough of a distraction for Ahsoka and Senator Bonteri to breach the back with Bonteri's men and ambush them from behind." He glanced around satisfied, as though daring someone to find a fault in his plan.

Ahsoka of course, offered her analysis immediately. "Don't know if you knew this Skyguy but Iziz being a walled fortress and all, Lux and I can't exactly go strolling through the backdoor,"

Ahsoka's objections seemed to provide Lux with a small amount of confidence for he spoke for the first time that day. "She's right. There's only one entrance, in and out, and that's on the North wall,"

"And that's why you'll be using these," Anakin turned from them, rifling through the heavy crates that the supply ship had dropped off to their small base set up in the Jungle, emerging with a large looking gun with a rod dangling from the side.

"Grappling hooks," Booth was the first to come to grasp with the device, eagerly taking the gun from Anakin and examining it with a grin. "We used ta' capture rats with these things, when I was a kid,"

"Well now you'll be scaling walls with them," Anakin said coolly, passing out each one to the soldiers. When he came to Ahsoka, he avoided eye contact, instead turning his head to tell Rex something as he handed hers over.

Desperate for some sort of acknowledgment, she decided to single him out.

"You nervous Skyguy?" She prodded.

He glanced at her, a frown on his face as he looked her over as though seeing her in a completely new light.

"Maybe," However something in his tone told her he wasn't talking about the battle.

* * *

Silence crept over the camp that night, each soldier falling to sleep with vivid nightmares and prediction of what they would undergo in battle the following morning. Many probably presumed they wouldn't make it out alive, and many of course were right. Infiltrating a separatist base wasn't exactly the safest thing to do in the world.

However the silence unnerved Ahsoka, and try as she may, nothing could have put her to sleep that night. Images of Lux in battle stirred deep within her, the thought that she very well could lose him tomorrow tossing in her stomach.

Trying to distract herself, she focused on her surroundings, focused on anything to push the thought from her mind. She was in a small tent, smaller than the one she had slept in before on Onderon. Moleskin blankets were draped over her, despite the unbearable heat, and the delicate sounds of the jungle outside filled her surroundings, cries from birds and echoes from some distant beast ringing around the tiny camp.

And then there were footsteps, first sounding small and insolent though seemingly drawing closer as whoever it was stopped outside her tent. Ahsoka held her breath, scooting away from the entrance to her tent and placing a cautionary grip on her lightsaber.

However the presumed threat was diminished when a familiar head poked itself into her tent, and Ahsoka couldn't help but bite back a grin as she came face to face with Lux.

"Knew you'd be awake," He whispered, crawling into the tent.

"Knew you'd come and find me," She smiled at him, though he probably couldn't tell in the dark, and instead rested her head on his shoulder as he drew closer, before realizing how stupid it was to be with him at this hour, the 501st surrounding them in tents, one being that of her Master's.

He seemed to read her mind however, squeezing her hand for reaffirmation.

"Don't worry. Master Skywalker took his men on a last minute scout of the wall. They won't be back for a while," So that's why silence had been so prominent.

"Are you ready," She questioned, pulling away from his shoulder, trying to read his expression. "For the battle?" She added needlessly.

"I'm not sure," He mused, laying down with a sigh as he rested his hands under his head. "Sometimes I get excited for it, other times I just want to run away from it all," She could sense his agitation and she leaned down to his figure and kissed him briefly on the nose, continuing to trace her lips all the way down to his chest where she then rested her head upon it.

He chuckled, wrapping his hands around her waist as she brought hers to his hair.

"You need a haircut," She smiled, playing with a strand that was half an inch away from his shoulder.

"Really? I thought I'd embrace my feminine side," He smirked.

Ahsoka sat up, quirking a brow. "The only feminine thing you should be embracing is me,"

And though they joked, and held each other throughout the night the mere fact of the war wagering around them lingered in the back of their head.

Lux left early that morning, long before sunrise, leaving Ahsoka with nothing but loneliness and an empty space of blankets where he had slept. In absence of his presence, Ahsoka found herself extremely cold, as though he had taken all of her pleasant and happy emotions along with him.

Heavy eyelids however began to overwhelm her, and with a small sigh she decided to sleep until the sun rose, resting her head where he had spent the night, inhaling the scent of him; the distinct smell of the trees that were spread throughout Onderon.

She couldn't even begin to fathom a life without him, and with that thought, Ahsoka was claimed by sleep.

_It was dark. So unbearably dark. A different kind of blindness, one like she had never experienced, as though even if a light was lit it would soon be diminished by the heavy weight of the blackness around her. _

_She heard his voice, just a small inkling trickle through the darkness, shedding a wave of light and warmth over her large void of blackness. She followed it, the enticing sound of him leading her away from it all, away from everything she hoped to escape. _

_And then there was death. _

_It slipped through the cracks and crept its way around her, seemingly teasing her but leaving in a flash as it slithered its way to someone close, someone nearer to her than her own self. It filled his very soul and mind, forcing him to inhale it before releasing its grip, the helpless victim falling to the floor like a rag doll._

_And Lux was dead, and Ahsoka was dead, and death cackled until its breath was nothing but a raspy voice lost along with everything else she held dear. _

She woke in a heap of sweat and terror, chest collapsing with heavy breaths as she huddled over and vomited onto her pillow.

Ahsoka liked to think she had experienced a great many dreams in her lifetime, some pleasant, others sinister. She prided herself in being able to distinguish a dream from a vision, something Master Yoda had always chided her in.

And that was no dream.


	8. Chapter 8

**An: Let me just say the only excuse I have for disappearing for about five and a half months is that I am utterly lazy when it comes to writing. I lost my muse back in August and have neglected to find it until now, however I am back and this story is no longer on hold. **

**Yes, I saw the Onderon arc. Yes, I realize it is in no way shape or form how I had predicted it to be, and ****_yes_****, I do realize Lux and Steela both had a mutual…attraction, for each other. **

**However my plot will remain the same in light of recent events, and I will preserve Luxsoka forever in my mind. Yay.**

**If after five and a half months you have decided to stay with me as well as this story, major coots out to you and lots and lots of hugs and kisses. **

**If you have not, your readership (?) will be sorely missed.**

**Enough rambling however, and onto the long awaited chapter eight! Reviews are greatly appreciated!**

* * *

Chapter Eight

Her mind was drifting into ease in the early morning silence, legs crossed and mind steady as she meditated on her dream…premonition…whatever it was. Her eyelids fluttered, trying to keep a steady mind though images of Lux shifting into death plagued her thoughts and she jerked her eyes open with a start.

She bent over, burying her head into her hands as she let out a dry sob. Her body was pulsing, overheating with rage and confusion. She felt so lost, torn between her allegiance to the Jedi and that of which to her lover.

A hasty cough announced a presence at her tent and she became angry with herself, unable to sense the presence of her master through her emotional turmoil.

"Ahsoka are you alright?" Anakin poked his head into the tent, concern etched across his face.

"Fine, master," She quickly regained her composure. "Just, meditating, that's all."

He observed her, a suspicious look on his face. "Are you sure there's nothing you want to…discuss?"

"Of course not," She protested, rising to her feet and tucking her lightsaber onto her hilt. "I don't know about you but I'd much rather win a battle then talk about nothing if that's alright with you Master," She snapped, emotions flaring as she pushed herself out of the tent, ignoring the upturned smirk Anakin gave her on her way out.

He shrugged. "Whatever you say Snips,"

The troops were huddled together in the middle of camp, getting their briefing from Rex before their departure. Lux stood on the outside of the circle, methodically huddled over a map. Catching her out of the corner of his eye, he beckoned to Ahsoka who cautiously obliged.

Looking at him now in the dim light of morning, she couldn't help but feel the need to distance herself from him. She wanted to run away and take her death cloud with her, though every time he gave her a small smile, every time he touched her hand or enveloped his lips with her own, it merely gave her another reason to stay. And she hated herself for that.

"You look rested," Lux smiled at her, giving her hand a tight squeeze when no one was looking.

She grinned weakly at him, dropping her hand from his side as a soldier walked pass the duo.

"You and I will be leading a small squadron over the wall and straight down the center of the city. It'll be dangerous, but we're taking some of our best men. And we have you of course," He smiled.

"Of course," She said, sarcastically patting the hilt of her lightsaber. "Are we all ready then?"

"As long as we all have our grappling hooks I think we're good to go," He paused, seeming to hesitate as he studied her closely. "Ahsoka are you alright?"

"What? Oh, I'm fine," She answered, fear trilled at the edge of her voice. It was like everyone could read her like an open book. "I'm going to scout ahead,"

She pushed passed him, starting towards the dense vegetation without looking back. Lux gazed after her with confusion, sighing before shrugging his helmet onto his head.

They were ready.

* * *

"Alright men," Lux called over the mutterings and small talk of the anxious troops. "This is what you've been training for. The climax of the war is in our hands, and you can be damn sure we're going to give them a fight to remember," The men gave a routy whoop of approval and the battalion soon dispersed into the woods in tight formation, headed by Lux and Ahsoka who cleared a path through the thick branches of the Onderon vegetation.

"I believe Captain Bonteri, you're getting much better at pep rallying," Ahsoka smirked, slicing a long vine with her lightsaber, navigating around the fallen brush.

"I try not to make it look too easy but, you know," He grinned down at her.

A loud scuffle sounded behind them, followed by an "Oof," and the steady laugh of the scattered troops. Booth had taken a tumble over the fallen vines and no one was really obliging to help him to his feet.

"We're not exactly being discreet," Ahsoka pointed out, extending a hand towards the fallen soldier who grudgingly took it, face red as she pulled him to his face.

"All eyes will be on the front wall. They'll not be expecting an attack from behind. I think we're okay for now," Lux answered, eyes scanning through the dense trees. "I think I see a clearing up ahead. Let's see if we can scout out from there,"

The group shuffled into the clearing, Ahsoka pulling out an infrared scanner as she examined the area ahead.

"The wall's about a hundred feet ahead of us. Don't see any patrols, but let's be cautious just in case," She directed.

"What's our plan of action?" Lux asked.

She stared at him, surprised. "It's your battalion Lux. Just tell us what you need us to do,"

He cleared his throat. "Right. Of course,"

She eyed him carefully, noticing things about him now she hadn't realized in the early morning light. Beads of sweat trickled down his neck, his eyes wide and bloodshot, breath coming in unsteady gasps. He looked terrified.

"Lux are you alright?" She gently touched his arm.

"I'm fine," He muttered, slipping away from her grasp. "Let's just get this over with. Once we get over that wall we'll split into two groups. Booth, you take about five men and stay along the perimeter of the wall. Ahsoka and I will lead the rest straight through the core. We'll all try to meet up with General Skywalker at the front gate as soon as possible. Let's move out,"

* * *

Getting up the wall had been easy. Scaling down the other side however, had managed to prove quite a challenge.

The small battalion of ten soldiers stood on the crest of Isis's great wall, a mixture of rebels and clones all gazing down at the city below them.

"What now?" Booth called out gruffly, shuffling to the edge of the wall. "S'pose we can jump over to that roof and then find a way down from there,"

"That'd be suicide. The jump's far too long," Lux mused, hand running through his hair in frustration. "We can't stay up here long, we'll be spotted for sure,"

"There's no other option. Most of the hooks are broken from propelling up here. We can't repel down and we can't jump either. Getting to that roof is our only way," Ahsoka pointed out.

"Fine," Lux sighed. "I'll go first though. See how much of a distance it really is,"

Ahsoka bit her lip, wanting to protest but thinking better of it. Objecting to his fit of daringness would draw attention to her affection to him, and would likely warrant unwanted suspicion, especially from the clones who were more familiar with the code.

Lux stood back away from the wall, readying himself for the leap. He gave her a reassuring smile before sprinting forward, leaping off the wall and into the air. Everything seemed to slow as he flew across the gap between the wall and the roof, arms flailing wildly before falling to a heap on the roof across from him.

Ahsoka jerked forward. "Are you alright?"

Lux staggered to his feet. "I'm fine. The landing's a little rough but it's nothing you guys can't handle,"

One by one each troop leapt across the gap and onto the roof, some landing harder than others though all remaining generally unscathed.

Ahsoka was last, and she leapt across the gap with ease, landing gracefully without so much as a stumble.

"Show off," Lux smirked, pretending to wince as she playfully punched him in the arm.

They quickly navigated themselves off the roof via a large pipe on the side of the building, and were soon hidden in a dark alley way.

Ahsoka raised her comlink to her mouth.

"We're in Master. There's about twenty droids to the left of us on patrol. I think we can take them," She whispered urgently.

"I trust your judgment Snips. Good luck,"

"You too Master,"

Ahsoka glanced up to Lux, giving him a signal with her hand, gesturing towards the droids passing by the alleyway, ignorant of the oncoming ambush.

They waited for the brigade to pass before advancing behind them, blasters raised and lightsaber flourished. Lux fired the first shot, nailing a droid in the back of the robotic head. And then all hell broke loose.

Shots fired rapidly, forcing the rebels to duck for cover into alleyways and behind scattered fruit stands. Ahsoka however advanced forward, slicing each droid with ease and a ferocity of which she had never showcased before. Perhaps it was from fear of her premonition.

Whatever it was, it drove her forward with an admirable rashness and the droid fleet was destroyed within a matter of minutes.

But it was far from over.

A familiar clanking sound echoed around the desolate streets of Isis, spreading fear amongst the troops behind her. "Hold your ground men. Remember, use grenades on their shields," She called back, not sure if her voice was heard over the sound of approaching droidekas.

The troops began to form together, getting back to back with each other as they raised their blasters, preparing for the worst. Ahsoka felt Lux brush against her and she felt comforted by his presence.

"Just like old times, eh?" He grinned.

"Let's hope this time our battle doesn't end with you dragging me off to Mandalorian terrorists,"

"I can't make any promises,"

And then they were surrounded, droidekas closing in on them from every side. The air became polluted with blaster rays, casualties beginning to toll on both sides. She didn't stop to see who went down, she didn't want to know. She flew through the air gracefully, landing behind the attacking droids and ending their reign of fire within a second. She slashed viciously at each shield, causing it to flicker before going out entirely, leaving the droid vulnerable and easier to kill.

The separatist fleet was depleted at an alarming rate and Ahsoka collapsed to her knees in exhaustion when at last the final droideka lay in a scrap of smoldering metal.

She gasped for breath, gazing towards her own troops and surprised at how few of them stood unscathed. Four out of the ten were scurrying amongst their fallen comrades, some letting out cries of despair at the sight of their perished friends, other succumbing only to silence.

And then her senses were awoken with a shock as she looked once more at the survivors. Where was Lux?

She rose to her feet desperately, breathing heavily as she rushed towards the fallen bodies.

"Lux?" She cried out desperately. She staggered aimlessly through piles of metal and smoking bodies, tripping over an outstretched arm before dragging herself back to her feet.

And then she saw him, feet away, strewn spread eagle under a pile of scrap.

A blaster wound still smoked from his torso.

* * *

**An: Trying to get back into the groove of this story so sorry if it's a little off. Hope I've done the characters justice. Your reviews are greatly appreciated!**


	9. Chapter 9

**An: Thanks for all of your reviews! Your continued support is much appreciated. Welcome to chapter nine where hypocrisy is abound, the truth is seen, and confrontations are made. **

* * *

Chapter Nine

Her senses fizzled to nothing and she felt as though someone had taken her by the neck and submerged her in freezing water. And though she kicked and screamed, no breath was granted.

She felt herself sprint to Lux's fallen body, clearing it of debris and metal scrap, eyes widening as she realized he was still alive, small gasps of air escaping his mouth.

"It's okay," She muttered urgently, "Everything's going to be alright," She pushed his hair from his face, hands numb and at a loss for what to do.

"Snips," A voice sounded from her pocket and she startled, reluctantly pulling out her comlink though her eyes remained on Lux.

"I'm here Master," Her voice was shaky and she was sure Anakin noticed.

"We've made it past the north entrance but we need your battalion's help to wrap up this remaining squadron. What are your coordinates?" His voice was strained and battle-ridden, the sounds of blaster fire in the background.

"Half of our men are wiped out Master. And…Senator Bonteri's severely wounded," She was surprised at how calm she sounded, even though her voice was distant and clearly shaken.

"Ahsoka I need you to focus," He said sternly. "Bring what men you have left and meet us by the north wall,"

"But Master, Senator Bonteri,"

"I'll dispatch what's left of our medical unit,"

"I don't think I should leave him-"

"Ahsoka do as I say!" His voice was sharp and Ahsoka felt a dull pang of hurt. He seemed to notice her silence and his sigh was audible. "We mustn't let anything distract us from the task at hand, despite certain attachments. Just meet us at the wall,"

She hesitated. "Yes master," He rarely snapped at her, that was her job, yet when he did Ahsoka always felt a tremendous amount of guilt, in this case not only to her master but to the Jedi code. It made her rethink her entire decision when it came to Lux.

With a final glance at the unconscious Senator, she took off into the streets of Onderon, beckoning what was left of the rebels along with her, ignoring the absence of Booth and Ruska and every other soldier she had come to know over the past few days. The pain was there, she just couldn't afford to dwell on it.

* * *

"Last one. I've got 'em," Captain Rex's voice sounded amongst the shouts of the remaining 501st legion, hoisting his trusty pistols into the air and skillfully firing the head off the last battle droid.

"Nice one," Anakin observed, scanning the area for any sign of lingering troops. "I think we've cleared them boys. Excellent job,"

Ahsoka stood a distance away from her master, relief passing over her. Now that the battle was over she could retreat to the medical station, hopefully unseen.

Cautiously backing away from the rebels she stood with, she made quick strides towards the medical ship on the opposite side of the wall, invisible to the celebrating troops, too drunk with joy.

The ship was small and held too few survivors, the rest lost to the barren streets of Iziz, probably to be burned traditionally later that night. The medical droid who vacated the ship escorted Ahsoka to the back wing, pulling back a white curtain to reveal Lux lying on a metal stretcher, eyes closed from lack of consciousness and breath shallow and raspy. He bore no shirt, revealing the scorched wound on his torso from the blaster fire, something she couldn't pull her eyes away from.

Seeing him like that, so defenseless and weak looking raised dry emotion in her throat. Wetting her lips, she drew closer to him.

"He seems to be in stable condition," The medical droid sounded from behind her, its mechanical voice monotonous. "However his torso may take time to recover and he has yet to regain consciousness. He also suffered a blow to the head but further complications have yet to reveal themselves,"

"Thank you," Ahsoka muttered, eyes not moving from Lux, and she heard the droid make its departure behind her.

She settled into a chair next to the stretcher and reached forward, gently tracing her finger along his jaw line, surprised at how rough it felt. She hadn't even noticed his stubble. It was so dark and prominent she wondered why she hadn't seen or felt it in the first place.

"Lux?" Her voice was scarcely above a whisper. "Lux can you hear me?"

As though her voice penetrated his conscious barrier, Lux's eyes slowly drifted open, lips parting slightly as he tested his joints.

His groan was audible.

"I feel awful," He mumbled.

"Well you were shot," She smiled, pulling her hand away from his cheek.

"Was I?" His voice was groggy and face blank, eyes staring at the ceiling in concentration.

"The medical droid says you'll make a full recovery,"

He seemed to hesitate, searching for words. "And the war? Has Onderon…recovered?"

"Onderon is now in the hands of its people no thanks to you," She smirked.

"Well that was certainly fast," His eyes had been avoiding her the entire time, stationary towards the ceiling and she blinked in confusion.

"Lux is everything okay?"

"Well I did get shot," He said dryly. "I think I'll just rest for now,"

Hurt rushed through her, disappointed at the fact he didn't want her to linger.

"Of course," She muttered, drawing away from his bedside. "I'll be back later to check on you,"

She received no response, his face still expressionless as he gazed up at the ceiling. Wanting to provoke some sort of response from him, she leaned forward and let her lips meet his.

She could have kissed a rancor and received a better response. His lips barely moved against hers and she pulled away frustrated at him as well as herself.

She quickly departed the medical unit, not bothering to glance back for she knew if she did, Lux would be in the exact position she left him in, eyes unfocused and face distant as he gazed up at the ceiling that was clearly more important than her.

* * *

"Ahsoka I need to talk to you," Anakin's voice was audible amongst the cheerful whoops of the troops, still celebrating their victory over the capital. Ahsoka sat a distance away from the crowd, turmoil racing through her mind not wanting to be disturbed. However she couldn't remain camaflouged forever and her Master soon singled her out.

He approached her from a distance, thin mouth twisted into a straight line of concern, eyes clearly saying 'It's time for a lecture.'

"I know I screwed up Master," She said dully when he took a seat next to her, arms crossed in accusation. "I put my personal feelings above the mission and nearly compromised the war. I know it's hard for you to understand but I made a mistake, and I almost regretted it," She knew exactly what he wanted to hear, and she would say anything to settle their dispute.

"You're wrong Snips. I do understand," His voice was hallow and she glanced up at him in surprise. "It's natural to form attachments. It proves that we're still living, that there's still something in here," He beckoned to his chest. "I just want you to be aware of it. Sometimes the Jedi code can be a little…unorthodox. Just don't let certain attachments cloud your vision,"

She stared at him with curiosity, wanting to question everything he had just proclaimed but thinking better of it. Some secrets were best kept unearthed, especially if provoking them would only cause for more lecture.

They remained silent, lapsing into a newfound respect for the other as they fully realized just how alike they were.

Ahsoka's thoughts went to Lux, trying to apply her masters teaching to her situation. She couldn't let it cloud her vision, like he said.

And then, in a moment of pure and utter shock, Ahsoka jumped to her feet in realization.

"What is it?" Anakin questioned.

She said nothing, mouth agape as she rushed past him, back towards the medical ship ignoring the curious stares the troops gave her as she sprinted past them.

She entered the medical ship in a frenzy, approaching Lux's stretcher as though in a trance.

He lay, as predicted, in the same position she had left him in, not even bothering to turn his head as she drew back the curtain concealing him.

"Lux look at me," Ahsoka demanded, crossing her arms as she glared down at his injured form.

"What?" His voice was timid.

"Look at me Lux. Now,"

He paused, she could sense hesitation radiating from his body. And then very slowly he turned his head in her general direction, eyes once so green and vibrant now pale and milky, staring instead at the wall behind her.

Her mouth parted, her own eyes wide with shock.

"Lux…are you blind?"

There was a long silence. She gazed at him, jaw set and arms folded, though in her head turmoil was waging a bitter war. He was frozen, mouth trying to form words though lacking the voice to speak them. He instead slowly raised his hands to his head, burying his face into his arms before a small tear trickled down his face.

She stood paralyzed, legs shaking in shock and frustration, angered at the fact that he tried to keep it from her, yet beyond grief stricken that Lux's sight had been stripped from him.

She gently reached forward, pulling him into an embrace and muttering words of comfort into his hair.

They stayed that way the remainder of the night.


End file.
